27.9.09

In a contemplating mood...

I´m sorry you guys that I have not blogged for quite some time... I´ve had a stressful time in my life with the work that I´ve been doing. And yesterday things came to a dramatic halt as I toke the decision to end my directorial journey here in Cape Town...

I´m not too sad and have spent the day in good company and a bottle of red wine, and although I grieve I am also thinking ( like Scarlett would have done ... :) Tomorrow Is Another Day !

This is what I had to say to some friends of mine...

This is such a new experience I hardly know how to express it... Despite all the best intentions and due to a long string of circumstances I could not have for seen, my South African journey is now at an end 3 weeks before our intended opening...

Although my heart is sad that I was not able to see this project, one that has given me so much joy, to its finish, in the end it was impossible, as there was simply no more trust from my actors... Those of you who are my colleagues know that when that happens - the difficulties we face during our work in the rehearsal room become absolutely insurmountable...

Trust or faith in one an others abilities is the very building blocks of our profession, the rest is dust and shimmering air... Add to that that the "road map", our script, was forever changing, as our writer had not found the story to begin with... And some where along the way I simply lost track of the road as I struggled day after day after day to find direction in an ocean of words and sentences that did not make sense...

I am proud I fought as long as I did and even more proud that I was able to let go in a manner that made it possible for me to restore some of that lost faith. When all was said and done there was between us a renewed sense of respect and affection. And for that I am truly and deeply grateful.

I have learned much, much more than I would ever have thought possible and feel blessed that I leave with my dignity and heart intact.

2 comments:

Frollein von Sofa said...

Dear Diva ! I am so sorry to hear that you had such a hard time...but your decision shows that you are strong, wise and brave ! I wish you a good trip back home and I am sending you some positive and happy energy !

Mrs. Bee said...

I just found your blog today..I hope that the new doors that will be opening for you as you head for home reveal great prospects for your future endeavors...you sound like a strong spirit and I wish you the best!
I'll be checkin' in on ya!!

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