Illustration from here.
Tomorrow I´m off to see my Grandpa and my aunties & uncles, as its Grandpas 90th B-day. It made me think about the word "family" and all that it entails.
The roots of our origins are usually much more complicated and complex than the image above... Our childhood memories are rife with emotions, some happy, others more painful... My own "wonder years" were mostly confusing, conflicting and scary, as well a whole number of other more joyful emotions.
When I, years ago, set sail in search of my childhood to understand the fabric that was me I had to weather many "storms". My compass set on the exploration of self I kept smashing into the reefs that was "family". But for each journey I became a little stronger, until one day I no longer went into that reef, but sailed passed it... Suddenly the rocks I had dreaded turned out to be just that...rocks, stones to be played with or tossed back into the sea.
I´m proud of the quest I set sail for and now, halfway "there" (seeing as I´m 45), I have come to enjoying my family more and more. Sure, I still can´t spend more than a few days with my dad ( before he or I erupt ) I avoid certain topics with my mom (religion), I set boundaries to keep my integrity intact with my aunties ( no, I´m not the only one with "problems" in our family... ) and I have slowly learned to accept with much sadness that I may never get truly close to my kid brother...
Yet, I find myself looking at each one of them with love and affection and think "Yep, this is my family !" :)
3 comments:
I could have written that post myself. Infact my dad and I spoke for the first time in 5 years just a week ago, so things are looking up. I think we all have 'problems' in our families. I learnt a long time ago we were never going to be The Waltons, but I think for the first time we might be in a place that suits us all, hope you feel you are in the same place too. X
P.S Happy 90th Birthday to your Grandpa X
Dear Mrs Kitten, so funny that you sent me a message today as I was surfing the web today and listening to our music at the same time - haha. On a more serious note I couldnt agree with you more - I am in a much better place today ! All the best ! Diva
ps Didn´t know quite how to reach you... :)
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